Giving Hope

I believe that it is good that I continually ask myself why I am writing this blog.  It is not to demonize my wife in any way.  I feel great love and empathy for her in her struggles.  Yes, she says hurtful things and does hurtful things.  If I consider, however, that these things are a reflection of what is going on inside of her and have little or nothing to do with me, her words and actions are much easier to forgive.  If I am the best person that I can be, constantly seeking greatness, she too will learn to trust enough to blossom into the person she is meant to be, or she will move on in her life.  There is no status qua.  We grow or we diminish.

Two very powerful quotes come to mind as I write this. 

 

The first is from Eleanor Roosevelt.  She said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

This puzzled me when I first read it.  I was not yet able to put things into context as I am now able to do.  I remember thinking, “Sure, that’s easy to say.  Eleanor Roosevelt did not live in my house.  If she did, she would realize that other people have a lot of power in making us feel inferior by the things they say to us.” 

Now I understand the truth of this statement.  Eleanor Roosevelt actually grew up in a home much worse than the one that I married into.  She knew the power of taking control of our own thoughts.  After embarking on my own journey of self-discovery, I embrace her words of beautiful truth.

The other quote is from Gandhi.  He says, “The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” 

Those who hold on to anger and resentment destroy their lives.  By forgiving, we take power over our lives and our situations.  We are free.  We are powerful.  Again, this is a challenging but a beautiful journey.  It leads to great joy, regardless of our circumstance.  I love Cassandra very much.  I can see the difficult burden that she carries.  I can hear how she is tormented by her own thoughts.  I can also see how, by my forgiveness and love, she is able to grow.  

I do not wish to tell anyone else what to do.  You know your own situation.  If you or your children are in physical danger, you can’t risk staying with your partner.  If you have no children yet, you may simply choose to leave.  The best thing that you can do, regardless of the situation, is to embrace the challenge you now face as an opportunity for growth.  My book tells the story of my journey of self-discovery.  It is short and you can buy an electronic copy for under $3.00 (printed copies cost a bit more).  My desire is that this story gives you hope.

Here is a link to order my book:  http://www.friesenpress.com/bookstore/title/119734000005730268/Christian-Gottlieb-Finding-the-Power-Within%3A--The-Blessings-of-a-Challenging-Marriage/SEL000000

May God bless you!

Christian